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Adventure Travel (V).

By Doug Sassaman
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"I chose to gun it. We were close. I forgot where we were going, why we were going, and what prompted us to leave the safety of our house. I slipped into a coma with my hands clutching the steering wheel and a brick on the gas pedal, Denise tried to read the same page of her book for thirty minutes, and Emma screamed from the Bay of Islands to Tauranga Bay. Her banshee keen rouses cemeteries we pass. We arrive and you've never seen a child taken out of a car seat faster. When I pull her out the scream stops in mid-screech, she looks around calmly, and if she could talk I swear she would have said, 'Oh, are we here?'

The next day we ditched Emma and went sea kayaking. We fended off sharks with our paddles, lost a few people in the treacherous sea caves, one guy next to me was stung by a box jellyfish and paralyzed, blah, blah, blah...all I could think about the whole time was what Emma had in store for us on the drive home.

About the Author:

Doug Sassaman is a freelance writer. He writes a bi-weekly humor column, 'Life In The Cosmic-Burp,' dedicated to exploring the world of the obscure and mundane at Doug and his family currently reside in the Southern hemisphere in New Zealand to see how the other half live. Send feedback/comments to"

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