The Lies That Saved A Judge (III).
By Azriel Winnet.
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|The young woman fled the home in tears.
Although there are some folk who take pleasure in being deliberately abusive, most people don't mean to be cruel when they give pat answers. What they lack is communication skills. They don't realize that by minimizing people's pain, they maximize it.
When you respond to your friend's outburst of anxiety or sorrow with: 'You'll feel better tomorrow,' or: 'Don't worry, time heals!' you may be giving him the message: 'There's something very wrong with you for complaining when there's nothing to complain about.'
The well-meaning advice: 'Just take a hot bath and you'll perk up!' could be interpreted to mean: 'You should have been able to figure out the solution for yourself,' or: 'Other people seem to manage in these situations.'
Now, I'll tell you a fascinating true story - that, on first glance, seems to contradict just about everything I've implied up to now.
A certain rabbi, a prominent judge of a Jewish religious court, once suffered a sudden heart attack in the middle of a litigation.
When he arrived at the emergency ward, a doctor, who knew and respected the new patient, examined him. The anxious judge asked the doctor about his condition.
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